Over a cruisy weekend coffee with a friend, I was talking about someone I knew - successful biz owner, doing financially pretty well, and big boundary-holder. I mentioned that I probably needed to emulate this person a little more, that I needed to be as self-focussed as this person.
I paused, then said "As selfish as this person".
Pause again. "No no no, self-focussed. You know, putting myself first. Oh.. I don't know!"
Then my wise mate perked up and said that she didn't think this person was selfish - just confident.
It stopped me in my tracks. She went on about this person's self-belief, how she opened a business saying "Yeh I can give this a try, it is a good idea" and never listened to her self-doubt. She just did it. She totally believed she could do it, and had loads of confidence in herself. Whereas me... I'd likely try to plan it all the the n'th degree, figure out all the ways it wouldn't work, paralyse myself with All The Things to do.. and probably not do it. Maybe.
And I did see. Really clear. It was a terrifying moment of clarity, a real kick in the pants - that sometimes I'm the one holding myself back.
Neither way is better - they're both different approaches (too much confidence? Just enough? Being humble? Where's the line?), but I did take pause and reflect that yes - till now, I've not particularly been my own biggest cheerleader.
So when do we start to 'grow up' and become our own teacher? Our own cheerleader? Our own Number 1 Fan? If only it was as simple as saying it, then doing it. And I suppose it is - in some ways. The last few months have taught me that we can think about stuff endlessly, or we can just DO IT and learn on the way. And if you don't know how to do it, get a business coach (hi Krista!), and team up with mates around you on the same path (hi Emma!). You don't need to do this all on your own!
I don't know if I'll ever get rid of that voice saying I'm not good enough, and that I can't do this on my own, but you know what? That's ok. It can come along.. but I'm pretty jack of it holding me back. So here we go, folks!
Tell me - any tips for putting your self-doubt in line? XO
PS: I love this idea of HOW we can fail - do we go all in? Do we give it a shot? Or do we give up before we even invest? Food for thought!
PPS - you really don't have to do it all on your own, guys. I'm running a Yoga Teacher Mentor program this March and again in July, where we all gather together and learn from one another. Interested? Come on in xo